EP 50 - The Clutter Between Us: How ADHD Awareness Healed My Mother and My Relationship

Описание: In this milestone 50th episode, Jami Shapiro sits down with a very special guest—her mom, Vicki—for a deeply personal and eye-opening conversation about ADHD, clutter, grief, and the complicated bonds between mothers and daughters.

Together, Jami and Vicki share the untold story of how clutter and emotional dysregulation shaped their relationship for decades—and how finally understanding ADHD has begun to transform not only their perspective, but their connection to one another.

From unpacdings, resentment, and the stigma that kept ADHD hidden in plain sight. With humked boxes after a family loss to the heavy weight of generational trauma, Jami and Vicki candidly open up about misunderstanor, honesty, and vulnerability, they also explore the powerful relief that comes when you realize: it wasn’t laziness, weakness, or failure—it was ADHD all along.

Whether you’re navigating ADHD yourself, supporting a loved one, or healing family wounds, this heartfelt episode will remind you that it’s never too late to rewrite your story, repair relationships, and find compassion for yourself and others.

What you’ll learn in this episode:
[00:01:29] Jami introduces her mom, Vicki, and their co-writing project
[00:02:50] The beginnings of clutter—and how garage sales sparked a cycle
[00:04:24] Grief, loss, and how “grief hoarding” compounded overwhelm
[00:07:42] Raising a baby in a cluttered home: safety, frustration, and boundaries
[00:08:55] Emotional dysregulation and the weight of being the “fixer” child
[00:09:42] Why organizers and quick fixes never solved the deeper issue
[00:11:22] Discovering Vicki’s brilliance once ADHD context was understood
[00:12:14] Therapy, medication, and the missing ADHD diagnosis
[00:13:35] Mother-daughter misunderstandings across generations
[00:14:47] The grief and relief of “what could have been” if ADHD was recognized earlier
[00:16:20] ADHD, menopause, and how hormones change symptoms
[00:17:11] Rebuilding a relationship once shaped by resentment and shame
[00:18:41] Generational trauma and passing down emotional dysregulation
[00:22:20] Behind-the-scenes tour of Vicki’s home—and how ADHD clutter differs from hoarding
[00:23:15] Magazines everywhere: why “I still need to go through them” feels valid
[00:24:42] How ADHD clutter differs from hoarding and why that distinction matters
[00:26:09] The shame/resentment cycle clutter created between Jami and Vicki
[00:27:26] Finding laughter in old patterns—healing through humor
[00:32:01] Generational trauma, forgiveness, and finally having the relationship they wanted
[00:35:42] Closing reflections: compassion, awareness, and using their story to help others

Resources & Key Terms Mentioned:
Grief Hoarding - The difficulty of letting go of a loved one’s belongings after their passing. It’s a way of holding on to memories and coping with loss, but often leads to overwhelming clutter that feels impossible to sort through.
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