"You Ruined It!" When Consistency Fails Autistic Kids

Описание: If your autistic child has ever said that because you took a different route home, used the “wrong” cup, or bought a slightly different box of their favorite food… you are not alone. We’re told autistic kids need consistency – and that’s true – but there’s a point where “consistency” quietly turns into a trap for both you and your child.
In this video, we’ll talk about how to honor your child’s need for safety and predictability… without getting stuck trying to make life perfectly consistent (which isn’t possible, and actually makes future changes hit harder).
Work with me:
Ready for personalized help navigating these exact situations? I help parents of autistic and neurodivergent kids create customized plans that fit your unique child and family dynamics—especially when general strategies and one-size-fits-all advice just aren’t cutting it. If you want support making real-life decisions about when to accommodate and when to gently build flexibility, I’d love to help.

In this video, you’ll learn:

What I call the “trap of consistency” – how our well-intentioned accommodations can accidentally teach our kids that reality should never change
Why your child’s brain often experiences “different” as “wrong,” and why their panic can feel so big
A real-life story about car routes, panic, and how we slowly built my son’s ability to tolerate change
The “chicken nugget trap” – how food rigidity develops and how to protect safe foods while still building tiny bits of flexibility
A practical “Explain & Do It Anyway” strategy you can use when the road is closed, the store is out of stock, or the plan has to change
How to balance two important jobs: protecting your child’s capacity in the moment and building skills for their future

You’ll walk away with a more compassionate understanding of your child’s nervous system, plus concrete ideas for tiny, doable steps that don’t turn into power struggles or battles.
If you’ve ever felt guilty because you can’t keep everything perfectly the same, I hope this feels like a deep breath: your child’s long-term safety depends on learning that reality can change… and they can still be okay.
📌 Tell me in the comments:
What’s the “driving route” or “chicken nugget” in your house? The cup, the chair, the brand, the exact order of events that has quietly become law? I read every comment and your examples help other parents feel less alone.
💌 Know another parent who’s living on high alert trying to prevent the next meltdown?
Share this video with them. It might be the first time they hear someone describe what they’re actually carrying.
▶️ Want a powerful next watch?
Check out: “But It’s WRONG!” (Understanding Autistic Rigidity & ‘Explosive’ Moments) – it pairs really well with this video and goes deeper into why “wrongness” feels so intense for autistic kids.
#AutismParenting #AutisticChild #Neurodivergent #AutismSupport #ParentingAutism #AutismMom #AutismDad #AutismRigidity #Meltdowns #Anxiety #ParentingTips #AutismCommunity

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Andrea J. Pollack, MSEd.
Autism Parent Solutions, LLC
[email protected]
https://autismparentsolutions.com/
(646) 872-0500