Goodbye... for now

Описание: Hi everyone,

So hopefully a lot of you will have been eagerly waiting for this month’s episode to release, but I’ve had to make the decision that I won’t be releasing my February episode.

In positive news, I’m pregnant with a brand new little motorsport fan due in June, and my husband and I are super excited to have our first child.

Unfortunately, the early part of my pregnancy was mostly over the off-season, which meant I only got a couple of marshal days in through my first and second trimesters.

My husband and I had a chat and spent a long time thinking about what roles we would be comfortable with me doing in the latter part of my pregnancy when the season got going again. We decided the best course of action would be to contact clubs, let them know about my pregnancy and how far along I would be at certain meetings, then open up discussion about what would be possible, with a few roles in mind that we thought would be alright.

Marshalling is an incredibly rewarding hobby open to so many different people, no matter age or physical ability. It’s part of what I love about the community - I’ve seen marshals that are 70 and walk with a stick, but you’d bet they’re the best flaggy or post chief you’ve seen. There’s everything from cadet marshals at 14 to those who have been around donkey’s years.

Now for the not-so-great news. Unfortunately, MSUK policy states that marshalling isn't suitable during pregnancy. This is due to the increased risk and other legalities, like insurance etc. My hands are tied in this, so for the time being, I won't be repping my favourite orange jumpsuit.

Obviously, this is very disappointing news and has triggered more than a few teary pregnancy hormones. I’ve worked really hard to learn the skills necessary and to represent women in motorsport to the best of my ability and show others they can get involved too. While I know that this pause doesn’t mean that I’ve failed, it has upset me and shaken my confidence.

I’d been really excited to visit new tracks like Brands Hatch this year, but my husband and I decided a few years ago to do new or favourite marshalling adventures together so we’ve taken the decision to cancel those things until we can go together, so that it’s fair and neither of us feel left out.

After MSUK’s decision I’ve had a lot of self-doubt and imposter syndrome for calling myself a marshal. I pride myself on my marshalling and the work I do to bring more young women into the community, not being allowed to do that, especially after having to cut my marshal days down last year due to wedding prep, made me feel like a fraud and seriously question whether I could continue this podcast in good faith, as right now I don’t feel like I can call myself a marshal.

That is all stuff that I’m currently working through and I will be back in my orange jumpsuit.

I am currently talking with MSUK to find out what happens to my grade. Since I won't be able to be trackside, I wouldn’t be unable to do the required number of days in orange to maintain my grade, but hopefully I can work out a fair solution with MSUK because I worked really hard on that and I’m really proud of it.

After a lot of thinking, crying and hugs with my husband, I’ve decided to continue the podcast as best I can until I can get back in orange (understandably, my suit doesn’t really fit right now, and there are very few orange maternity options). I am, however, taking a month off just over a year after starting this journey, to explore where I can get involved and talk to the necessary people about protecting my grade. So this last month the content has mainly been pre-scheduled and I haven’t been working on an episode.

So, this is a temporary goodbye while I figure out what the heck I’m going to do. You might start seeing me spectating more for a few months, you might see days where I struggle through missing my hobby, but you will see me, my podcast will resume, and, somehow, we’ll figure this all out.

I have a few bits of content planned for the coming month even if I can’t get to a track, this isn’t the end of orange suits and boots or anything, it’s just a little bit of a shake up while I try and figure out how I’m going to do things.

So, goodbye for now, and here’s to returning trackside soon.

#motorsport #womeninmotorsport #marshal #update