The Worst New Year's Ever - SOUTH PARK

Описание: Rod Stewart is horrible in concert and the angry crowd turns on Jesus.
"Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus" S03

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#SouthPark #SouthParkS03

HOTEL - LAS VEGAS - NIGHT
Hundreds of people are gathered for the huge Millennium blow
out at the Rio Hotel and Casino.
Everyone, including all the South Park townspeople and many
others from all over the country are wearing hats and holding
noise makers.
Cartman and Kyle walk amongst the crowd.
CARTMAN
Hey Las Vegas is a pretty cool place for
us mature people...
Everyone erupts into applause as Jesus takes the stage.
JESUS
Alright people, are we ready to rock the
Millennium?!?!
The townspeople go wild.
Jesus stands behind the curtains on stage. He takes a deep
breath then puts his hands together and looks up at the sky.
JESUS (CONT'D)
Father in Heaven... PLEASE let tonight's
show go well. PLEASE make them like it!
In the crowd, Cartman and Kyle are trying to get a good look.
Cartman pushes Butters out of the way. (MOVED)

KYLE
Hey, here comes Stan.
Stan walks up to the boys. He has a bit more facial hair than
before, and more pronounced titties.
STAN
(Lower voice)
Have I missed anything.
CARTMAN
Wow, Stan... You really got some nice
titties there.
KYLE
Did you get your period yet, Stan?
STAN
No, I didn't but-
CARTMAN
Don't worry, you'll get it some day. Come
on, Kyle. Let's go see what kind of
tampons they have here in Vegas.
Cartman and Kyle walk off together, leaving Stan alone.
Meanwhile, Jesus is still on stage rallying up the crowd.
JESUS
Well I tell ya one thing; I sure as heck
am excited! We've got about four hours to
the new year and so I think it's time to
START IT UP!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE
HE IS, AS PROMISED, MR. ROD DO YA THINK
I'M SEXY STEWART!!!!!!!!!!!
Eruption of cheers and applause. After a very long pause, Rod
is finally wheeled out onto the stage pitifully in his
wheelchair.
Everyone looks a little concerned at the band members start
to play the ROD STEWART song.
ROD STEWART
(Singing)
Ohh....
The band drills the chords louder. BWOM BWOM BWWOM!!!

ROD STEWART (CONT'D)
Ohhh...
As the horrible song continues, Jesus looks pleased, standing
just offstage and trying to dance to the beat.
Everyone else, however, looks pretty bummed out.
JIMBO
Woa, man...
The band starts to totally rock out.
ROD STEWART
Ooh... oop- pooped my pants.
The nurse runs out onstage and starts to change Rod right in
front of everybody.
MR. GARRISON
THIS SUCKS BALLS!!
WOMAN
YEAH!!!
Everyone starts booing and hissing.
TOWNSPERSON
Alright, enough of this! BRING OUT GOD!!!
TOWNSPEOPLE
YEAH!!
(Chanting)
WE WANT GOD!! WE WANT GOD!! WE WANT GOD!!
Jesus panics.
JESUS
Oh no... Please, Father... DO
SOMETHING!!!
Jesus walks out onto the stage.
JESUS (CONT'D)
Uh... Folks... I'm afraid God can't make
it tonight...
STAN'S FATHER
We came all the way to Las Vegas for

this?!?!
RANDOM MALE
THIS IS THE WORST NEW YEAR'S EVER!!
THANKS A LOT, JESUS!!!!
REDNECK
LET'S GET HIM!!!!
EVERYONE RUSHES TOWARDS JESUS ANGRILY.