The great Irish violin duel

Описание: [Intro — instrumental jig, fiddles trading ridiculous flourishes]
(Whistle trill, bodhrán heartbeat, audience claps)

Verse 1 (Male):
Down by the quay where the seagulls keep score,
Seamus O’Blare nailed his bow to the floor.
Fiona McFiddle winked with a wink that could kill,
Said "I’ll play you a tune that’ll make your granny spill!"

Pre-Chorus (Both, playful):
Bows are drawn like swords but don’t you worry, friend—
This is music for laughs, not a tragic end.
(Spoken, female): “May the best squeak win!”
(Spoken, male): “And bring snacks!”

Chorus (Both — big Celtic clap-along):
It’s an Irish violin duel, a furious fiddle fight,
Bows flash like lightning in the middle of the night.
Squeaks, slides, and jigs, and a war of harmonic squeals—
Who cares who wins? —we came for the reels!
(Repeat with stomps and spoons)

Verse 2 (Female):
Fiona did a double-stop, then a triple-hop slide,
Her fiddle did a somersault and winked at the tide.
Seamus answered back with a tremolo sneeze,
His bow turned into a broom and swept the crowd to their knees.

Pre-Chorus (Both):
The leprechaun judge sipped a pint through a straw,
He adjusted his monocle and said, “Encore, encore!”
(Spoken, male): “Is that a slide or a small famous whale?”
(Spoken, female): “Either way — more scale!”

Chorus (Both — higher energy):
It’s an Irish violin duel, capers in every bar,
Fiddles fart confetti and the spoons steal the star.
Croon, screech, harmonics that tickle your toes—
Even the River Liffey’s doing a two-step, who knows?

Bridge — Instrumental Madness (fiddle battle + slapstick):
Tin whistle ringtone, accordion farts a chord,
Bass drops a shimmy, the bodhrán roars like a bored lord.
(Spoken over the chaos, male): “Play the bit with the squirrel!”
(Spoken, female, triumphant): “Which bit? ALL THE BITS!”

Verse 3 (Both, trading lines faster):
Seamus: I’ll bow in the key of a leprechaun sneeze!
Fiona: I’ll pizzicato the pants off the breeze!
Seamus: I’ll glissando through rainbows, up past the moon!
Fiona: I’ll play so sweet the shamrocks will swoon!

Pre-Chorus (Both, building):
The chickens in Galway formed a conga line,
The piper cried “bless!” and the fiddles said "fine!"
(Spoken, female): “Do we get a trophy?”
(Spoken, male): “Only if it’s edible!”

Final Chorus (Both — everyone singing, full-on ceilidh chaos):
It’s an Irish violin duel, a riot in D major,
Fiddles duel like pirates but with far less danger.
We’ll laugh, we’ll dance, we’ll applaud every squeal—
Tie or no tie, it’s the madness that’s real!

Outro (Soft, then sudden cheeky finish):
(Whispered, both) So if ever you hear two fiddles fight,
Bring a seat, bring a smile, bring your appetite.
(Shout) And when the bows drop, and the crowd gives a roar—
They hugged it out, shared a pint, and played one tune more!