What Does Self-Support Really Look Like? Mel Ryan

Описание: What Does Self-Support Really Look Like?
Facebook Live Workshop February 8, 2026

Overview
Join kinesiologist Mel Ryan as she explores what true self-support really means. In this 60-minute workshop, Mel breaks down self-support beyond just self-care, diving into how to listen to yourself, receive support from others, and create lasting patterns of genuine self-love and compassion.

This is the year of self-support—and it's about so much more than taking bubble baths.

Key Topics Covered
🌱 Understanding Self-Support
Self-support goes beyond self-care—it's about allowing yourself to receive support from others and the universe
Most of us treat our own needs as "leftovers," putting ourselves at the back of the fridge until everything else is done
True self-support means recognizing your needs matter just as much as everyone else's
💖 Overcoming Self-Abandonment
How childhood programming around "selfishness" leads to over-giving and self-abandonment
The pattern: We take on responsibility → Life happens → We jump into others' crises → We stop checking in with ourselves → We get sick
Breaking the cycle by taking yourself with you everywhere you go
🧘‍♀️ The Four Pillars of Self-Support
Physical Self-Support:

Listen to your body's signals instead of pushing through
Create rest without needing to "earn" it
Allow others to help without guilt or justification
Mental Self-Support:

Become aware of your inner voice and self-talk
Ask yourself: "How do I feel and what do I need right now?"
Let go of the pressure to have everything figured out
Accept guidance and compliments without dismissal
Emotional Self-Support:

Allow emotions to exist without fixing or dismissing them
Find safe witnesses who hold space without trying to rescue you
Use physical expression (exercise, music, dance) to process intense feelings
Know that your emotions aren't a burden
Spiritual Self-Support:

Connect with your higher self and guides
Trust the bigger picture
Ask for signs and guidance
Delegate care when overwhelmed
🚫 Common Self-Sabotage Patterns
Setting achievement-based goals that invite judgment and failure
Using impulsive behaviors (food, wine, shopping) as quick "hits" of self-love when you haven't checked in with yourself
Hyper-independence rooted in past disappointments and broken trust
Guilt around receiving help that blocks support from coming in
🔄 How to Interrupt Self-Sabotage
Shift from achievement goals to "how I want to feel" goals
Example: Instead of "lose weight," aim for "feel confident in my body"
Use a feeling word (strong, brave, confident, energized) as your anchor
This reduces judgment and creates space for compassionate self-support
🛠️ Rebuilding Trust & Learning to Receive
Hyper-independence often stems from past trauma of being let down
Denying help denies others the joy of connection and support
Practice saying "yes, that would be great" instead of "I've got this"
Remember: Your giving graph is much higher than your receiving graph—imagine what's waiting for you
The Weekly Self-Support Check-In
Mel shares a powerful framework for weekly check-ins:

Am I okay? (We ask everyone else this—but do we ask ourselves?)
How do I feel?
What am I working on right now? (e.g., having a voice, setting boundaries, not over-giving)
What worked and what didn't this week?
Did I use my voice or did I stop?
Am I present to how I feel?
Am I focusing on others' needs at the expense of my own?
Am I looking after myself the way I want?
Am I a leftover this week?
Do I feel like I'm part of a team?
Am I doing everything by myself?
Did I ask for help this week?
What do I need right now?
Practical Tips for Self-Support
When Life Gets Chaotic:

Create an "emergency self-care list" for when crises hit
Small pockets count: 15 minutes of a walk is still self-support
Examples: hand cream, removing makeup before bed, a quick cup of tea
Making Teams:

Shift from "I'll do it all" to collaborative approaches
In families with older kids: reframe responsibilities like a share house—everyone contributes
This changes your whole foundation
Receiving Support:

Practice saying "yes, that would be great"
Accept help without justifying or explaining
Let compliments land instead of deflecting them
Use others' opinions as options, not rules
Mental Shifts:

Write things down instead of holding them in your head
Use music or reading as a pause from overthinking
Validate your emotions: "I'm allowed to feel angry/disappointed/frustrated"
Find people who witness your emotions without trying to fix them

Find all of Mel's Self Support products here https://enlightenly.co/shop/mel-ryan-...