WIBTA for skipping my BIL's destination wedding after his fiancée wore white to mine?

Описание: The original poster (OP), a 32-year-old woman, shares her experience dealing with long-standing family tension between her husband Dan and his brother Jordan. According to Dan and others in the family, Jordan has always been unpleasant and even cruel to Dan growing up. Jordan’s fiancée, Katie, initially seemed like someone OP might be able to get along with, despite their vastly different personalities. Katie is loud, flashy, and attention-seeking, while OP is more reserved. Although OP tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and even invited her to her bachelorette party, things took a turn for the worse over time, especially after Katie wore a cream-colored dress—very close to white—to OP’s wedding, which many guests saw as a blatant attempt to upstage the bride. OP had suspected Katie might be competitive or disrespectful, and this confirmed her instincts.

Throughout the wedding, Jordan and Katie acted inappropriately, with reports later revealing they were dismissive toward guests and Jordan had to be cut off by the bartenders due to his behavior. Despite previously considering attending Jordan and Katie’s upcoming destination wedding in the Bahamas, the incident at OP’s own wedding, combined with the financial and emotional cost, made OP and Dan decide not to go. They worried about how this decision would affect their relationship with Dan’s parents, especially his mother, who had pushed for Jordan’s inclusion at their wedding in the first place. However, when Dan spoke to his mother, she surprisingly supported their decision and even apologized for the behavior of Jordan and Katie, acknowledging that this kind of drama was exactly what they had hoped to avoid.

Feeling validated and supported, OP and Dan made peace with skipping the wedding and instead planned a fun trip to visit Dan’s best friend. OP reflected that setting this boundary was necessary to avoid further disrespect from Jordan and Katie in the future, especially with the potential for more family events down the line. While she won’t be living out her fantasy of attending the Bahamas wedding in a matching cream dress for revenge, OP is content knowing she handled the situation with maturity and stood up for herself and her marriage.
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